A Pirate's Life Not For Me
by MarcelinaRose
Summary: Ever since Russell settled on land, many events have transpired in the past years. During these years, his past occasionally comes back to haunt him in his dreams, and his inner thoughts are telling him to go back sailing once more. Add that with his old pirate crew returning to town and Russell now has a hell of a crisis to solve. PART OF MY AU! Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 **Now this is the fic that I've been trying so hard to work on, but I never got to. Since it's the summer now, I have so much free time I don't know what to do with it. So I might as well start this fic before I forget about it. Anyway this fic is about Russell and his pirate past, and no that doesn't mean this fic is basically Russell sailing the seas with his crew. This story takes place after the last one, which is Dangers Of The Next Generation, but there will be an occasional flashback every now and then.**

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell kept his head lowered as he glanced down at the amulet in the palm of his hand before eventually closing his good eye and clutching it tightly. A memory appeared in his mind, and he couldn't help but smile when he realized how he got the amulet. Although, a frown grew on his face soon after because of the memory and he held the jewel closer to his chest.

"Mama?" His head shot up at his daughter's voice and looked down to see Umi tugging on his jacket with a curious gaze. "You're gonna miss the fireworks if you don't look, Mama."

"Is that so?" Russell stroked her cheek gently with a smile before leading her back to the group. The town was having its annual summer cookout on the beach, and knowing the curse surrounding it, the inhabitants knew that anything disastrous was possible. Nutty was chewing on various sweets as Sniffles was watching the children play in the sand, Lifty and Shifty had brought a metal detector in case there was money hidden in the sand, and Jack and Zack ran with them in excitement, Lilac was fascinated with the sparkler he was holding and he was showing it off in front of his parents, and Ruby was hiding behind her father as Flaky was playing volleyball with Lammy, Cuddles, and Toothy. Lumpy noticed the two and stood from his spot on the beach towel and made his way towards them with an ice cream cone, handing it to his daughter who began to squeal at the sight as she grabbed it. Lumpy smiled and cupped his husband's cheek and stroked it gently. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Russell leaned into the touch and kissed the heel of the hand with a closed eye. "I was just thinking about the old days." The hand cupping his cheek slid down to grab his chin so he could lift the former pirate's head. Lumpy pecked his lips sweetly before leading his family back to the others, Umi immediately running over to Ruby and pulling her towards the other kids. The couple soon began to talk to Flippy and chatted about whatever came to mind until the fireworks began.

Half an hour later, everyone soon got into position and Umi was telling the rest of the children where to sit so they could have the best view. A few moments later, the fireworks began to explode in the air, and the sight captivated everyone watching. For a moment, everyone thought there weren't going to be the slightest casualties, but they were proven wrong when a few remnants of fireworks scorched half of Disco Bear's face, scarred Lammy's neck, burned Giggles's torso, and while Splendid assumed it was a meteor attack, trying to defend the townspeople also killed Mole, Mime, Cuddles, and got Flaky's arm ripped off. Flippy and Fliqpy put an end to him so everyone could stop panicking and continue watching the show, although people were already leaving due to the fireworks incident, especially the children: Ruby was sobbing, Lilac was screaming, the triplets were hiding behind their father's car, the twins were shouting some nonsense about the end of the world, and a crying Umi was huddled behind her mother for protection. Soon, the people calmed down, and paramedics arrived to help the injured and dead.

Russell pouted in the passenger seat with crossed arms as Lumpy turned on the car to make their way home after making sure Umi was safe and sound. "Why do they even hosts these events when they know this is gonna happen every freaking time?" He complained with a closed eye as he slouched in his seat.

"I think it's cause they don't think it'll happen again." Lumpy replied as he made a left.

"Do they not remember where we live?" The former pirate snapped in response before turning to the toddler in the backseat with a worried gaze. "You alright, Umi? You need anything?" He saw that she had fallen asleep from the commotion, and he smiled before turning around and sat up. "I need 100 years of sleep after the shit I just witnessed."

"Took the words out of my mouth." Lumpy smiled as he continued to drive down the road to make his way back home into a bed.

* * *

 _"There he is! After 'im mates!"_

 _"Cap'n run!"_

 _"I ain't a coward, mate! Where the fuck do ye think yer goin'!?"_

 _"He be cornered! We have 'im now!"_

 _"Cap'n!"_

Russell's eyes snapped open in response with heavy pants, wiping the slight sweat off of his forehead and turning back to the bluenette sleeping at his side before swinging his legs off of the bed and heading for the bathroom.

He felt more relaxed and awake when he splashed water on his face before looking into the mirror, seeing a few drops on some of his hair tips, and while he did feel relaxed, he realized how miserable he looked sometimes. Russell ran a hand through his hair with a low sigh. "No wonder Lumpy thinks there's something wrong with me. I don't look cheerful. It's probably because I think about what happened."

 _Don't you want to go back? I think you'd be much happier if you do, lad._

"Listen you twat. You've been in my head ever since I settled, and you still want me to sail again."

 _The only reason I do is because I am you. I'm the part of you that longs for the ocean again. I know you want to, or else I wouldn't be around, mate,_ Russell kept his head lowered, eventually turning his gaze towards the wedding ring on his finger. He knew having these thoughts were a bad idea, but with where the conversation was heading, he couldn't help it. _They can't come with us, lad. Would be too much of a risk._

"Hold on, why are you talking like I've already made my decision?"

 _Because I know exactly what yer thinkin'. I saw that look on yer face when ye went to save the brat; ye had the eyes of a killer, and ye acted like you were back on the ship. Face it, mate; You want the sea again._

"How about you stay out of my business." Russell snapped in response as his head shot up to look in the mirror once again, only to see himself wearing his former pirate attire before the attack. He took a step back before exiting the bathroom, his inner thoughts echoing in his mind as he made his way back to the bedroom.

When he opened the door, he saw Lumpy rubbing sleep out of his eyes slowly before glancing over. "I noticed you were gone. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just had a nightmare." Russell stepped over towards the bed and crawled on top of his husband with a slight nuzzle. Lumpy held him gently with closed eyes as he felt the other leave a trail of kisses down his neck and jawline. He glanced down at the other bluenette with a lifted eyebrow. "And what are you trying to do?"

"Get my mind off of it."

"And the only way to do that is turning me on so we could fuck?" Russell looked up at him with a pout before kissing him. The kiss went on for a moment before Russell's tongue snuck its way past the other pair of lips, causing Lumpy to respond to the kiss with a more aggressive approach. Russell let out an occasional moan before he pulled away with a dark blush over his cheeks. "Stop making that face." Lumpy's thumb ran across his lips, causing the younger male to gently nip it with his teeth with a lustful gaze. Russell bent down and latched his mouth back onto Lumpy's neck to leave a few marks if possible. Lumpy tilted his head back as both of his hands grabbed the other's thighs to grind their hips together. Russell responded to this by biting down and causing the purple mark to bleed somewhat. He pulled away once he realized what was pressed against his thigh and glanced down at the bluenette. "You just sit there and enjoy the ride."

Russell lifted his hips to pull down the shorts he was wearing before throwing them to the floor before pulling off Lumpy's boxers, releasing the straining erection underneath. The former pirate lifted his hips and positioned himself, pausing for a moment before allowing himself to slide the other's member inside of him. Lumpy's grip on his thighs tightened at the feeling, and it wasn't long before Russell began to slowly bounce in his lap to eventually become a moaning mess. "Keep your voice down or Umi will hear us."

"I-It's fine," Russell stammered while trying to keep his shirt pulled up so it wouldn't get in the way. "I-I locked the door- holy shit- so she can't get in."

"Doesn't mean she can't hear us." The older bluenette tried to reason, but his husband had stopped listening and continued to enjoy himself while also trying to make it quick so they could both go back to sleep. Luckily, a few hard thrusts to his prostate had his orgasm make a mess of both of their stomachs, and the other came shortly after. Russell collapsed on the other with a nuzzle and closed his eyes as Lumpy separated them and reached for the tissue box on a nearby nightstand. "Fuck. This was messier than last time." Russell groaned when he was pushed off of the other so they could get cleaned up, and Lumpy couldn't help but sigh. Russell was very clingy after sex, and he would make a face if the other bluenette wasn't near him.

Once Lumpy was finished, the former pirate stretched out his arms with a pout, and the older bluenette wrapped arms around him and pulled him into bed. Russell smiled and snuggled into him with closed eyes. "Feel better?"

"Yeah." After the response, Lumpy closed his eyes and they both soon drifted back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell scrunched up his face before nuzzling into the figure underneath him, eventually opening his eyes and lifting his head to see the few hickies he left on Lumpy's neck the night before. He sat up slowly and yawned, rubbing sleep out of one of his eyes and making his way off of the bed. He winced at the slight pain in his backside, reminding himself how much he hated the aftermath of sex, especially if there was no preparation. Russell slowly grabbed his jacket and slightly wobbled out of the room, stepping carefully down the stairs into the kitchen to fix breakfast.

About an hour later, he heard a yawn from the bottom of the stairs and turned around to see his daughter clutching one of her plushies and rubbing an eye. "Sleep well?" Umi nodded as she walked into the kitchen, climbing into her chair and setting her plushie on the table. Russell soon set a plate of french toast in front of her and sat in a nearby chair. He lowered his head with a sad gaze before speaking. "I'm sorry about last night. You must have been scared." Umi lifted her head with the fork still in her mouth. She almost didn't understand what he was talking about until she thought back to the fireworks. She held her plushie close and took the fork out of her mouth. "I was scared, but I knew Mama and Daddy would protect me, so I wasn't scared anymore."

"Well I'm glad you were brave, even when you were crying." Umi puffed her cheeks and pouted, muttering that she was crying. Russell couldn't help but smile before noticing Lumpy make his way into the room trying to fix his messy bed hair. He yawned and sat next to the toddler, gently ruffling her hair with a smile. He pecked Russell's cheek before sitting between them with a head resting in his palm. "You feel okay?" He referred to the fading pain in Russell's backside, and the former pirate nodded in response taking a sip of the tea in front of him. "Yeah. I'll recover."

"Is Mama hurt?"

"I'm fine, Umi." Russell stroked her cheek in response before standing up with a slight wince before heading upstairs, muttering that he was going to take a shower.

When the former pirate returned, he found his husband and daughter on the couch watching the early morning cartoons. Umi giggled whenever the character's plans went to ruin, and it reminded Russell of the good old days before he took to the sea. He slightly frowned in response before staring down at the amulet around his neck with a quiet sigh. _That life is over now,_ He thought to himself. _There's no sense in dwelling on the past._

 ** _Yet you do anyway._**

Russell's head snapped open at the response as the voice continued. _**Lad, that look on yer face screams that ye want to be back at the sea. There's no denying it.**_

 _I'm not denying anything. I have a life here now, so there's no point in going back._

 ** _But ye not be satisfied,_** Russell stayed silent and curled his hands into fists, keeping his gaze lowered to the ground with closed eyes. _**Ye have this look of regret whenever you think about yer crew, and I know ye think about what ya coulda done to stop 'em from betrayin' ya. Do what ya want and sail again. No one would know you were gone.**_

"That's not true." The not so silent mutter reached Lumpy's ears, and he turned around with a lifted eyebrow. "Say something?"

"N-No. Nothing at all." Russell gave him a fake smile before heading upstairs to the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and fell face forward on the bed with a slight glare. "You see what you did?"

 _ **Nah, mate. That was all you. Ya let him know, and any minute now, he's gonna waltz in here like the worrywart he is.**_ The bedroom door open, and Russell's inner thought scoffed in confirmation as he sat up. Lumpy closed the door behind him and gave his husband a look. "Alright, tell me what's up."

"It's nothing." A moment later, the older bluenette had an arm on each side, caging him in place so he wouldn't get away, and leaned in close with an unconvinced gaze. Russell slightly leaned back in response and averted his gaze. "You know I have ways to make you talk, Russell, and I know you don't want me resorting to that," The former pirate was immediately reminded of the last time he had kept something from the other, and the memory gave him a slight shudder. Lumpy cupped one of his cheeks with a loving gaze and forced their eyes to meet. "Hey, we're supposed to be partners, remember? You have to tell me what's making you upset, or else I won't make you happy."

After a quick peck on the lips, Russell lowered his head with a sad gaze before speaking. "Ever since I settled on land, I've always thought about sailing again because I loved it so much, but at the same time, I wanted to stay where I was. It scares me whenever I think about leaving, cause I would be by myself at sea and I don't want that. Then there's a thought in the back of my mind that's saying screw everything and go back to my pirate days. "But-"

"You don't want to leave us, right?" Russell nodded with slight tears swelling in his eye, keeping his head lowered and waited for his husband to say something else. Instead, he was pulled into a deep kiss as Lumpy's hands slowly gripped his waist tightly. Russell wrapped arms around his neck to try and deepen the kiss, pulling himself closer to the other and running fingers through his hair. Their lips separated for air, and Lumpy held him close in a tight hug. "I get it," He muttered. "You want to sail, but you know that Umi and I would be lonely without you. Normally, I would say to follow your heart, but there's gonna be a consequence no matter what choice you go with." The former pirate began to imagine what would happen if he decided to leave: He would give a final hug and kiss to the two of them, and as he walked towards his ship, Umi would be sobbing and shouting about why he shouldn't go while Lumpy would have a pain-filled smile on his face as he held her back from chasing her mother. He could also imagine him coming back only for Umi and Lumpy to resent him for leaving.

Russell leaned back so he was on the bed with his husband hovering above him. Lumpy's eyes slightly widened before the former pirate cupped one of his cheeks with a smile. "I'm sure I'll work something out."

"Russell-"

"I do want to sail again, but I'm not so desperate to if it means leaving my husband and daughter behind." Lumpy smiled in response and leaned down to kiss him again. Russell happily complied with a giggle, mentally flicking off the voice inside his head who was spouting some nonsense he didn't bother paying attention to. Lumpy pulled away and gently peppered kisses on his jawline and neck, causing the other to gently tilt his head back into the mattress before speaking. "You know Umi's gonna walk in here cause she's lonely."

"She has Tom and Jerry keeping her busy. She'll be fine."

"Doesn't mean she won't walk in here." Lumpy pulled away with a lifted eyebrow, knowing that the smaller bluenette was right. He paused for a moment before latching his mouth onto his collarbone, causing Russell to yelp in surprise with a blush. The older of the two pulled away once there was a noticeable mark, and he smirked at the sight. "That's only to remind you what I'm doing to you later."

"Can't wait." Russell sat up with a purr, giving the other a light pat to the crotch before leaving the room. Lumpy shook the light blush off of his face to follow him back to the living room to join their daughter.

* * *

After dropping off their daughter with Handy and Petunia, Russell had requested to go back to the beach to see the aftermath and damage from the fireworks the night before. Lumpy agreed, mainly because he wanted to see how much charred sand he would find, and he wouldn't want the former pirate going alone.

When the two arrived, they saw the area deserted, and Lumpy wasn't surprised to see some charred sand. He had a feeling Sniffles had collected a sample for some weird experiment, and he sighed at the thought with a hand on his hip. He glanced over to see Russell staring towards the ocean, and he lifted an eyebrow. The former pirate seemed to be in a trance, and he waved a hand in front of his face to try and snap him out of it. "Hey, what's up?" Russell only pointed to what he saw, and the older bluenette turned around, his eyes widened when he saw a ship heading for the shore. He automatically recognized it to be a pirate ship, although that wasn't what was bothering him.

It was the same pirate ship Russell used to command years ago before that fateful night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell couldn't help but stay frozen as the ship sailed closer to the shore as Lumpy tried to shake him out of it. Once he remembered where he was, he blinked and lowered his head towards his left hand, harshly ripping off the wedding ring and shoving it in his pocket. Lumpy's eyes slightly widened at the sight before Russell spoke. "Hide your ring. They can't know." The older bluenette was about to ask before he understood why, and he placed his ring in his shirt pocket as he watched a lifeboat lower itself into the water and row towards them. Lumpy could see the many figures in the boat, and recognized a few faces that stood out to him. He turned to his husband, who took in a few breaths to compose himself. When the boat slid against the sand, the group jumped out, immediately spotting the duo, and shouting in response. "Blimey, is dat who I think it is?"

"It is! It's Cap'n Russell!" The group of pirates began to swarm the two, and Russell tried his best to not look frightened as they drew closer. There were many shouts from the rest of the group who were surprised to see their former leader, mentioning how they thought he was dead after all of these years and paying no attention to the bluenette beside him. Lumpy could tell that the other was overwhelmed, and wanted nothing more than to get away. He wanted to step in and hug the poor guy, but he held himself back.

"Now now everyone, give him room. It be a while since he's seen the likes of us."

The group parted, and Russell's eye widened more when he saw a tall blonde with green eyes who was dressed as the captain. He brought both hands to his mouth as the male gave him a warm smile. "It's been a while, Cap'n."

"B-But, I thought you were dead."

"Am I?" The look on his face made Lumpy feel uneasy, and he didn't like that Russell was talking to him. But, he knew that it wouldn't make him look good if he acted on his feelings. He could also tell that Russell was happy to see the captain, and that was another reason why he didn't act. Russell reached out a hand to place it on the other's chest to make sure he wasn't going crazy, and the touch almost brought tears to his eyes. "I-I can't believe it."

"Believe it. It also means I get to keep my promise." Russell's smile faded as he lifted an eyebrow in confusion as the captain stepped closer. He held a puzzled look before the captain grabbed his chin with one hand, and pulled him in for a deep kiss. The former pirate's eye widened in response as a few other pirates around them snickered. It didn't take long for him to feel Lumpy's anger and jealousy coming at him in waves. The captain apparently noticed and pulled away from the smaller and turned towards the bluenette. "And who are you, mate?" The question was enough to snap Russell out of shock and turn to his husband. "Oh right, I forgot to introduce you. Lumpy, this was my first mate, Alexander. Alexander, this is my roommate, Lumpy."

"Wait, I think I remember 'im now," Alexander took a closer look at him before his eyes widened. "Ah yes. It be the lad who was always on the beach whenever we stopped here for supplies. Ye two were close if I remember right."

"Yes," Russell replied, noticing the concealed glare in Lumpy's eyes and growing concern as he turned to Alexander once again. "So, how long are you staying?"

"We plan to stay long enough for us to gather supplies so we can continue our adventure."

"Where to?" Lumpy was a bit taken back by the excitement in his husband's voice, and looked to see Russell with a happy look on his face. He crossed his arms with a lifted eyebrow, questioning where this conversation was going. Alexander placed a hand on his hip with a smirk. "We plan to find the legendary treasure of Poseidon himself. Said to be in the depths of Davy Jones locker."

"Sounds like fun," Russell closed his eye before turning on his heel. "We better get home so we can have lunch. It was nice seeing you."

"Aye. Let's go mates. We got lots to prepare for." The two parties went their separate ways and out of sight from each other.

* * *

Russell sat at the dining table with a BLT in front of him, having a few fingers placed on his lips with lowered eyes. He closed his eye in thought to see if a memory of a promise would come back to him. However, nothing came to mind, and he frowned in response. He almost didn't notice Lumpy enter the room with a frown and sit across from him, folding his hands and glancing over at the former pirate. "So, this promise included a kiss?" Russell automatically knew that would be the first thing he would ask. He was quiet for a moment before a voice spoke in his head.

 _"I don't know if we'll see each other again, but I promise I'll return your feelings if we do."_

His eye widened as he lowered his gaze before he responded. "Y-Yeah, but I don't think I ever responded before we were separated, so it wasn't a full promise." He saw Lumpy lean forward and grab his face harshly and pulling him forward across the table. Russell balanced himself with his hands so he wouldn't fall, and he was met with Lumpy's stern gaze. "Lum-"

"I'm the only one allowed to kiss you." The older bluenette interrupted him with a tighter grip. "I was on the verge of ripping that guy away from you and showing that you belong to me. But, I held myself back cause I know they're not big fans of homosexuality. Also, I kept getting vibes that you were in love with him." Russell averted his gaze in response with silence. Lumpy didn't want to jump to any quick conclusions, but with how their conversation was going, he couldn't help but grow scared of what he might say. Russell gave a quiet sigh before speaking. "A long time ago, I was in love with him, but I couldn't say anything in fear of what the crew might say. After I settled, I didn't think I would see him again, so I moved on," He gazed back at the other bluenette and cupped his cheeks gently. "It doesn't matter now. The one I love is you, and nothing will change that."

Lumpy pulled away and let go of his face, leaning back into his chair with crossed arms. He stood up and stepped over towards the younger's side of the table, lifting him out of the chair and holding him bridal style. Russell blushed madly and held onto the other in case he fell. Lumpy couldn't help but smile as he carried him to the couch and gently setting him down. "That reminds me," Lumpy pulled his shirt down to peek at the hickey on his collarbone. "I hope you haven't forgotten about our deal."

"You want to fulfill it so soon?" Russell lifted an eyebrow as he wrapped arms around his neck to pull him closer. Lumpy gave a seductive smirk and pecked his nose. "Well, if you don't want to be interrupted, then yes." The former pirate grinned before pulling him down harshly for a rough kiss, his hands traveling down to pull off the other's shirt as Lumpy began to do the same for him.

* * *

An hour later, the two picked up their daughter from Handy and Petunia after the toddler shouted something about wanting to go to the nearby aquarium. Umi's smile grew as she ran over to another tank filled with different fish, pressing her hands against the glass in amazement, calling over her parents so they could see as well. Lumpy tried to keep her close so she wouldn't run far from them, but it was hard to do so with the excitement she was throwing around. Russell couldn't help but sigh as he followed the girl down the ramp as she shouted something about turtles. He began to follow her until he heard familiar shouts not far from him, and turned to see a few pirates gawking at the fish and saying how much they'd be dying to cook some to have for dinner. Russell was surprised to see them here, and looking presentable in public at that. He pulled his hood over his face and quickly turned and sped back towards his husband and daughter. Lumpy felt arms wrap around him, and he peered down at the younger bluenette. "What's up?"

"Them." The older saw the pirates and nodded, following their daughter down the ramp as she spotted more sea creatures to fascinate her. It didn't take them long to reach the end, and the couple bought the small child a few things before leaving. Russell wanted to make sure that they weren't followed, and he intended to make sure the pirates didn't find out about Umi.

Umi held onto the whale shark plushie in her arms tightly as she was strapped in before her parents drove out of the parking lot and on their way home. She could see the sun beginning to set, and she smiled at the sight with an exhausted look. Russell relaxed in his seat with a smile, looking back towards the child before turning to his husband. He lifted an eyebrow at his face and tilted his head. "Are you still thinking about earlier?" He asked. Lumpy replied with silence and kept his eyes on the road. Russell lowered his head for a moment before holding up his ringed hand. "You see this? I wouldn't have this if I didn't truly mean what I said on our wedding night." Lumpy's eyes lowered somewhat as the memory came back to him. He could easily remember what the former pirate had said to him.

 _"I didn't marry you out of pity or because we have a daughter to take care of. I married you because I love you, and I want to be with you for as long as possible, even if that means forever."_

He stopped at a red light and leaned back in his chair before pulling Russell into a deep kiss. Russell's eyes slightly widened before closing his eyes and kissing back. Lumpy pulled away when the light turned green and he continued driving. "I wasn't doubting your love for me, you know," He spoke with a sigh. "It's just. . . I have a bad feeling about him, that's all. It's just a hunch, but I have a feeling he's not here for just supplies for his trip. Just be careful if you see him, alright?"

"Lumpy, he's my first mate."

"Was," Lumpy corrected him. "He's probably not the same guy you remember, and if that's true, I don't want you getting hurt. Just trust me on this." He cupped the other's cheek lovingly as Russell leaned into the touch. He closed his eyes with a soft sigh as Lumpy pulled his hand away. "Believe me when I say that."

It didn't take long for the three to return home, and Russell immediately put Umi to bed before heading to the living room to cuddle with Lumpy on the couch and watch a movie. Russell had his arms wrapped around the other tightly with a nuzzle and Lumpy had a hand around his waist and his eyes were glued to the screen. At one point, the former pirate crawled into his lap and buried his face in his chest, causing the other to glance down at him. "What's with you? You're more clingy than usual. Not that I'm complaining."

"I just feel lonely sometimes," Russell replied with another nuzzle. "Nothing for you to worry about." Lumpy lifted an eyebrow but shrugged before turning off the TV and scooping up the bluenette in his arms. Russell squeaked in surprise as he was carried upstairs towards the bedroom, gently setting him on the bed and pulling him close. Russell smiled and closed his eye, allowing sleep to overtake him after a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell handed a plate of sandwiches to his husband and daughter before taking a seat between them and sipping a mug of tea. Umi kept her eyes fixated on a cartoon showing on the TV screen, not minding if it was an episode she had already seen before, while Lumpy was on his phone checking for updates on whatever topic seemed interesting. The former pirate kept his eyes lowered into his mug in silence as he closed his eyes with a thought. He enjoyed the peaceful feeling around the table, and he wanted to savor the moment in case things got chaotic.

He took a sandwich for himself as Umi jumped down from her chair to head into the living room to play with her toys, leaving the couple alone as Lumpy turned the TV off anc pecked his cheek. "You seem to be out of it."

"Yeah I know," Russell replied, taking the last bite out of his sandwich and standing up with a calm smile. "It's just hard to believe that my old crew is here. I thought they were never coming back."

"Well, the unexpected always rears its ugly head," Lumpy replied while rubbing his shoulders in order to relax him. "Whether it be a good thing or a bad thing." Russell nodded in response before heading into the living, watching Umi stack some blocks on the coffee table. He ruffled her hair gently and pulled her away from the blocks and towards the front door. "We're heading to the farmer's market for a bit. We'll be back soon."

"Bye Daddy!" Lumpy smiled at the girl waving at him as they left him alone in the house.

* * *

The bluenette tightly held onto a bag of vegetables with one arm and held Umi's hand with the other as they passed through the market crowd. The toddler held onto her mother in order to not be separated as she felt intimidated by those around her. She glanced around until she saw a cookie stand not far from the two. She tugged on Russell's arm and pointed in that direction. Russell saw the stand and glanced down at her with a smile. "Alright alright as long as you don't make a mess of yourself."

"Okay." Umi grinned at him in response as they began to step over until Russell heard a familiar voice call out to him. He turned around and his eye slightly widened when he saw Alexander walk towards him with a similar bag of fresh food with a calm smile on his face. Russell thought back to what Lumpy had told him, and he slightly kept his guard up. "I wasn't expecting to see you here." He said as he stopped in front of the two. Russell faked a smile with a concerned thought. _Right. This would be the perfect day to pick up supplies here. What was I thinking?_ "Well, I thought it would be good to stop by and see what was here." He responded. The pirate took notice of the child with them and glanced her way with a lifted eyebrow, causing Umi to shroud behind her mother. "And who is this?"

Russell slightly froze and frantically thought of something that might sound convincing to his former crewmate. "T-This is my daughter, Umi. Lumpy and I felt our house was a bit empty, so we adopted her when she was a baby."

"Mama, who's that?" Umi had the courage to speak up, but stayed hidden behind her mother. Russell stroked her cheek gently as he responded. "He's one of my old crewmates from when I was a pirate."

"So, he's a pirate too?" The bluenette nodded and the toddler lowered her head while holding onto his hand tighter. Alexander bent down at her eye level and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, lass." Umi glanced up at her mother before hesitantly shaking his hand slowly. "I almost didn't recognize you because of how you dressed."

"Well, you did tell us to blend into a crowd," Alexander replied with a shrug. "And making sure we didn't make it obvious that we were pirates when we talked."

"You have a point. I can hardly make out your accent," Russell giggled before he felt his daughter tugging on his arm and pointing to the cookie stand again. He nodded and stroked her hair gently. "I better get going before she has a hissy fit." With a final wave, the bluenette turned his back on his former comrade and began to walk away with Umi eying the pirate carefully. "I don't like him, Mama."

"Is it because he's a pirate?" Russell asked as he paid for two chocolate chip cookies and handed one to her. Umi shook her head as she took a bite of her treat and followed him out of the market. "He's a bad man."

"Sweetie, not all pirates are bad."

"But he is." Russell would usually brush off what his daughter was saying and believe it was one of her usual stories if he didn't know how smart she actually was. He was concerned whenever the toddler had a bad feeling, which most likely meant he should be cautious. He glanced back at Alexander only to see that he was nowhere in sight. He lifted an eyebrow before heading back to the car to head home to drop off the food.

Russell gently placed the vegetables and fruit on the counter before Umi ran back towards the front door as her mother pecked Lumpy on the cheek. "She wanted to go to the park cause she promised Ruby she would be there," He briefly explained as the toddler called out to him impatiently. "Probably has something to do with the cookies I bought." Lumpy shrugged in response and turned back towards the rest of the house. "While you're gone, I might as well clean the attic. Been a while since I've been up there."

"You go do that." The two waved at each other in response before Russell caught up to Umi.

* * *

Once Umi spotted the tiny red-head, she ran off in that direction as Russell waved hello to Flaky on a nearby bench. "I heard your old crew is back." The younger of the two stated as he swung his legs. Russell nodded with a slight smile and the red-head lifted an eyebrow. "You don't look so happy."

"It's not that," The bluenette replied with a lowered head. "It's just surprising to see them, that's all. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see them," The two saw their daughters interacting with the other kids before continuing their conversation. "Although, I've been having conflicting thoughts on whether or not I should go back with them."

"I think the real question is if you willing to leave behind your husband and daughter to follow your dreams." Russell shook his head and turned back to the red-head. "Of course not. They would both be devastated if I left. I didn't marry Lumpy to only abandon him afterwards."

"And I didn't marry Flippy out of fear."

"Well shit everyone knows this," Russell jabbed a finger at his chest with a slight pout. "Everyone saw the fucking grins on your faces. Hell I saw it close up cause I was the Maid of Honor."

"You kept bugging me about it until I said yes."

"Got that right," Russell pulled away and crossed his arms, slightly slumping in his seat with a tilted head, lifting an eyebrow as he saw Umi pull her friend towards a fort. He chuckled and smiled. "I wonder how they're gonna be when they're older. Flippy and I are fucked people, so they still might get something from us."

"So you think Umi might inherit your hysteria?" Flaky asked with concern, and the bluenette merely shrugged in response. The red-head sat back with a slight sigh. "To be honest, ever since we saw Ruby showing signs of having PTSD, we've been on the look out despite the problem being taken care of."

"Makes sense, even though it hasn't been seen for months. By the way, speaking of Ruby," The bluenette fished out a small card from his pocket and handed it to his friend. "I told Umi that it was a month too early to be giving out invitations, but she's too stubborn to listen."

"I wonder where she got that from," Flaky giggled and took the card with a smile and Russell pouted. "I'll make sure we'll be there."

"Good. Well I better get home before my husband loses his mind." The former pirate stood up and brushed off his pants before calling out to the toddler in the sand pit. Umi hugged her friend good bye before running to her mother and jumping in his arms. "Did you give Mr. Flaky the card?"

"No need to worry. He got it." Umi smiled and waved at Flaky before she and Russell returned to the car and began to head home.

* * *

"So anyone care to explain this?"

"Nah, mate. We saw it all."

"I knew there was somethin' weird about our cap'n. Nev'r thought he was homosexual."

"It explains why he never joined us when we raided the houses for women."

"Now now, mates. Let's wait a while longer before jumping to conclusions. Then we'll make our move."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

A week had passed since the pirates returned to Happy Tree Town, and both Lumpy and Russell began to feel uneasy with their presence. They found it weird how the crew hasn't left, the two knowing perfectly well the Sea Pirates only spent a few days in the town stocking up supplies. Russell had a feeling that something was going to happen if they stayed while Lumpy believed they found an unknown reason to stay longer.

The couple was on the couch watching whatever was on TV as Umi drew in her coloring books on the floor in front of them, occasionally glancing at the TV before returning to her work. The phone rang in the other room, causing Russell to stand from his spot and answer it. He leaned against the wall and heard Sniffles on the other line. _"I see your crew hasn't left yet."_

"Yeah. I find it strange," The bluenette crossed his arms with lowered eyes, releasing a light sigh before responding. "Usually, we would be here for a few days and leave once we were prepared. Either they have something planned or they're more disorganized than before."

 _"I'd go with the former. It's been years since you last heard of them. They won't be the same crew you sailed with."_

"I know that, but," Russell trailed off with an averted gaze, looking back at the two in the other room before glancing at the floor. "If something is going on, I'm scared of what they might do to Lumpy and Umi."

 _"I understand."_ Russell heard silence on the other line, and he knew the scientist had thought of a bad memory regarding his family. While he wasn't filled in on the details on what exactly happened -Sniffles never wanted to talk about it- but he knew it had something to do with a strange rivalry. "So, what do you think we should do?"

 _"I can't say anything. They're your crew."_ Russell couldn't help but agree, although he wasn't sure if he could do anything since he wasn't the captain. His shoulders lowered with a closed eye before responding. "If something happens. Get your family to safety. You have that underground bunker for a reason." After a confirmation, he hung up the phone and returned to the living room, wrapping arms around the older bluenette and pecking his cheek. Lumpy only shrugged in response and wrapped an arm around his shoulder and gave a light kiss on the top of his head.

* * *

Umi laughed as she ran around the playground with her friends, chasing them in the wooden castle and through the jungle gym. She pulled Ruby and Sammy towards the other children as they climbed the various bars as their parents watched them close by. Nutty was chewing on a lollipop with a happy gaze, Petunia threw an occasional glance at whatever flowers caught her eye, Lifty and Shifty were on the swings and muttering to each other, and Flaky and Russell were underneath the shade of a tree enjoying each other's company. "You okay?" Flaky asked with a lifted eyebrow, snapping Russell out of thought and turning to him. "I'm fine."

"You sure? You seem out of it. Something's on your mind, isn't it? Is it your crew?"

"Seriously, am I that easy to read?" Flaky nodded, and Russell groaned and lowered his head. "It's not hard to figure it out. You've been like this since they came back," Flaky lowered his gaze and intertwined his fingers. "To be honest, I wish they would leave soon. They've been eyeing me ever since they first saw me, and I don't want to be reminded of what happened because I know how these people are when they get a look at me." He wrapped arms around himself, remembering when Fliqpy had taken control of his lover and raped him, which caused a slight rift in their relationship, a rift Flippy was reminded of when he thought of what lead to his and Flaky's marriage.

Russell placed a hand on his shoulder for comfort, which seemed to calm him down somewhat as he responded. "I get what you mean, but that's why Fliqpy has been training you, right? To make sure you're not a damsel?"

"Yeah, but even then I can't do much."

"That's because you're still learning," Russell assured. "Just because you can't fight well now doesn't mean you won't be able to fight well at all. I may not be a big fan of Fliqpy, but I do know that he and Flippy are two of the best fighters I know. Don't feel so bad about not being able to fight." Flaky lowered his head in response and tucked his knees under his chin with a light sigh, glancing back towards the children in the castle. He sat up with a confused gaze and lifted an eyebrow. "That's strange. I don't see Umi anywhere."

Russell glanced back towards the group, his eye widening slightly when he saw no sight of his daughter. He stood up quickly and hoped that she was in the abyss of the jungle gym. Ruby had been called over by the other red-head, and she darted towards her mother with a confused gaze. "Sweetie, have you seen Umi?" Ruby glanced around, slight concern beginning to show on her face. "I-I thought she followed us out of the jungle gym. S-She was gonna meet us at the top of the castle." Flaky glanced over at Nutty, who had gotten the message that something was wrong, and he called over the triplets to ask the same question. Meanwhile, Russell paced around the playground and hoping that he was just being paranoid.

After a few minutes of searching and calling out for the tiny bluenette, fear began to swell in his chest, and he thought about where Umi could possibly be. He ruled out the option of her wandering off because he knew that she knew better than to not be in sight of either of her parents. _Maybe someone came and picked her up. No no they would tell me first. Maybe she ran for an ice cream truck, but there are none in sight, so that's out. Dammit where could she be?_ A tiny thought in the back of his mind was telling him that she might have been taken, and he wanted to shake it off. He began to make his way out of the park, almost ignoring Flaky calling out to him. "Russell, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna see if my hunch is right," He responded quickly as he ran off. "I'll be sure to tell you if it is!"

* * *

Russell glanced at the ship a few ways away from the shore with a stern gaze, lifting an eyebrow at the rowboat that seemed to be waiting for him. He slowly stepped towards it, climbing inside and pushing the boat away from the sand with the row that was available and began to make his way towards the ship. Fear and nervousness grew within him as he approached the vessel cautiously, hoping that his hunch was incorrect and that he was going crazy. As he got closer, the bluenette was immediately reminded of the night everything started, and it caused him to stop where he was.

 _Russell was dragged through the various halls of the ship, countless shouts of his crew drawing closer to him as Alexander tried to lead him towards safety. He grew more confused and irritated as the chase continued, and he wanted nothing more than to stop running and face his pursuers. Once he and Alexander got to a safe spot, he wretched his arm with a glare. "Mate, don't be thinkin' I can't take care of meself."_

 _"Cap'n, this be a mutiny!" His first-mate shouted in a whisper as he grabbed his shoulders with a greatly concerned gaze. "The crew got ev'ry intention of killin' ya. Ye be outnumbered if ye try an' fight." Russell's eyes lowered as he gave an unconvinced look. Alexander sighed and pulled him along towards the deck with more slight protests from the captain. The bluenette pouted as he was pulled along harder, almost tripping over his feet in the process as the doors to the deck pushed open, and he was greeted with an army of raised swords. His eyes slightly widened in fear at the sight of the bloodthirst in everyone's gazes, and it was enough to cause him to slightly shroud behind his first mate. It didn't take long for the two to be surrounded, and Russell was thrown harshly onto the wood. He winced in pain and glanced up to see Alexander pull him to his feet. Russell staggered slightly and he barely had time to balance himself before he heard a mutter of "Forgive me" before a blade was plunged into his right eye._

 _The captain screamed in pain and fell to his knees, curling up on the wood and placing both hands on his injured eye. The crew around him laughed with delight as the bluenette let out a choked sob of pain. He was soon kicked around, causing him to roll across the floorboards and losing consciousness with each passing second. For a moment, Russell believed that he was going to die permanently, and he had given up with whatever plan he had in mind. He wondered why Alexander wasn't doing anything and was letting this happen. The bluenette was pulled to his feet, and he slowly staggered towards the rail of the ship to get a last glance of his crew before going unconscious. Instead, Alexander was standing before him with a look Russell had never seen. He bent down slightly to whisper in his ear, and Russell's uninjured eye widened before he was pushed off of the ship and into the crashing waves below._

Russell placed his hands over his eyepatch with a lowered gaze as he relived the memory. After the mutiny, he had somehow washed up on the beach of Happy Tree Town, where he was found by Lumpy and Sniffles. He remembered it took the two of them weeks to convince him to not look for his crew, and knowing his stubborn nature, he refused to stop trying. It was also around that time where he was told he had hysteria, and Sniffles believed it from his time on the seas. Russell immediately brushed it off for a while until realizing that he might never be able to sail again. After seven years, his crew had returned, and the bluenette felt nervous since their arrival.

He approached the ladder that hung from the side of the ship and lifted an eyebrow, wondering if they were expecting him. With caution, he reached out towards the ladder and began to climb towards the deck, fear making itself noticeable on his face. Once his feet touched the floorboards, he was greeted with the crew working on the ship, stopping to gaze at the young bluenette with sneers. He felt something off about the sight, noticing that they looked different somehow, like they weren't the same crew he remembered sailing with.

"Ah, I'm glad you can make it."

Russell turned towards the staircase to see Alexander and another pirate standing above him. The blonde began to make his way towards the deck, and the crew began to circle around the two of them. Russell held his ground and ignored the pirates before his former first-mate spoke again. "We were wondering how long it will be before you showed up." He nudged his head towards the lower decks, and one of the pirates nodded and scurried off. Russell lifted an eyebrow before his eye widened at the sight of his daughter being held under one arm and thrown onto the deck harshly. The bluenette couldn't believe what he was seeing: Umi's hands were tied behind her back tightly, her arms and legs were covered in bruises, a bleeding gash was on her left knee and a slight cut was on her right cheek. "Umi-" He began to step forward but was stopped by a blade blocking his way. The small girl slightly lifted her head with half-lidded eyes. "Mama."

"Alex, what's going on?" Russell demanded with clenched fists and a glare. The pirates around him chuckled, and Alexander lifted an eyebrow with a hand on his hip. "You see, Cap'n, as you know, we're here to get supplies for our next journey-"

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it," Russell interrupted. "We looked for Poseidon's treasure before, and it wasn't in Davy's locker, so why are you really here?" Alexander sighed and placed a hand on his hip with a lowered gaze. "Truth is, we be lookin' for ya. A year after the mutiny, we all wondered whether or not ya were alive, so we began to search wherever we thought ye might be," Russell was unconvinced and he crossed his arms with a lifted eyebrow, but fear grew itself back on his face as the blonde finished. "So we can make sure ye be dead for good."

Russell was taken back, and he glanced over at his injured daughter, who was still trying to take in everything that was going on but was fearful for her life. Alexander began to pace in the circle as he continued. "Six years we been searchin', until we figured out the only place where ya could be, and that would be here. Since ye still believed I was on yer side, I played along with yer little game, and also kept track of what ya been doing," His eyes lowered into a glare as he clenched his fists. "Only to find out our suspicions were true and ye were a homosexual this entire time!" The pirates roared in response, and Russell's chest tightened in fear. "H-How did you find out?"

Alexander held out his hand, and the bluenette saw a tiny cube floating in his palm, and he soon began to wonder what had happened all of these years. The cube soon began to flash footage, and his eyes widened in fear when he saw himself, Lumpy, and Umi on one of their family dates. Lumpy peppered Russell's faces with kisses as Russell laughed happily and Umi held onto her mother's leg. "And that's not all. We've been watching others too." Flashes of other members of Happy Tree Town, flashed before Russell's eyes as he saw Sniffles and his family, Flaky and Ruby, Lifty and Shifty with their twins, and many others. "After seein' this, we were thinkin' that maybe we could take over this town and call it our home base and be killin' anyone who opposes us. Unless," He placed the cube in his pocket and smirked at the former pirate. "Ye agree to be killed with no strugglin' and we leave this town alone."

Russell lowered his gaze in response. Knowing his crew, they would parade his corpse across town for everyone to see, and then leave him there so people would mourn. He wasn't too worried about death considering he could be brought back easily. As he had this thought, Alexander continued. "And after yer dead, ye will be burned and yer ashes be lost forever. Ye know, just to make sure yer not revived by this town's curse." Russell couldn't believe what he was hearing, and the thought of being dead permanently frightened him. Sure he could be revived, but if his body wasn't found in the next 24 hours after death, he couldn't come back to life. No one would bother looking for ashes in an ocean. He placed both hands above his mouth at the thought and was on the verge of tears as a result.

Alexander's smug never left his face, and he held out his other hand for an artifact to be slipped inside. "By the way, Cap'n, ya know what this is?" Russell lifted his head to see a small flute in the blonde's hand, and his eye widened even more. "We were thinkin' we outta test this out, and we already got ourselves a dummy." He flashed a sadistic grin at the toddler, who shrouded away from the captain. Russell stepped forward, but was pulled back immediately. "No let her go, she's not part of this!"

"She has every part of this by being yers!" As Alexander approached the child, Russell continued to struggle to get to the other side of the ship. "Leave her out of this please! She's just an innocent child! You don't know what you're dealing with!"

"Oh I know perfectly what I'm dealin' with," Alexander stopped as Umi was pulled to her feet. "We have accomplished something that ye couldn't. Ye were too scared to face the beast when we had ev'ry chance to control it!"

"I did the right thing by not getting us all killed!" Russell retorted back in a shout. "You're about to raise more hell than you can handle! If she gets fed to it, it'll want more human blood, and the entire crew will die! You have no chance of controlling it!"

"Yer wrong about that, Cap'n. I've already controlled it."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell was held back by the pirates as he watched his daughter get hoisted into the air by a rope and Alexander brought the flute to his lips, ignoring his former captain's urgent shouts to stop him. He played a soft melody that lasted longer than he thought it would, and paused for a reaction. Silence lingered throughout the ship until they heard a low rumble from underneath them. The fear in Russell's chest grew as he rapidly tried to think of a way to thwart the plan, and he thought back to the pocket knife he had on him.

He was still for a moment before violently jerking out of the pirates' hold and pulling out his knife, slicing away the hands that came after him to the best of his ability and rushing towards the other side of the deck. Alexander's eyes slightly widened and he readied his sword immediately, but before he could attack, the former pirate evaded him and plunged the pocket knife into his left arm. The blonde called out in response as he backed away in pain, watching Russell quickly free his daughter from the ropes. Russell stood at the rail, daughter in tow, and glanced behind him to see large bubbles sitting in the water below him. He automatically knew that was the Kraken below them, waiting for its meal, and his gaze switched between the ocean and the pirates. "Mama."

"It's okay." Russell pushed her face into his shoulder to hide her gaze, and glanced around to see if there was another way he could find off of the ship. Ignoring the taunts from his former crew, he sped across the railing towards a stray rope as the pirates followed him. "Hold on tight." He instructed the toddler before grabbing the rope and swinging himself towards a yard, landing perfectly on his feet with a slight stumble. "Guess I haven't lost it." He muttered to himself before heading to the other side of the ship as the crew below fired gunshots at him with more yelling. He cried out in pain as a bullet went through his leg, causing him to fall over and land back first on the deck with tight arms around his daughter. He coughed up slight blood before noticing the figures around him with bloodthirsty sneers, reminding him of the mutiny. Due to fast reflexes, he shot to his feet, wincing at the bullet in the leg and backing up towards the rail, glancing down at the boat rocking against the ship. He turned back to the crew, and gave a slight smirk before jumping over the rail and into the boat.

Once he landed, he wasted no time in rowing away from the ship, slightly glancing back at the pirates that gave him dirty looks. The smirk on his face fell when he saw a tentacle rise from the ocean beside him, and bring itself down on the boat. The former pirate pushed his daughter out of the way before he was grabbed by the tentacle and pulled under the waves. "Mama!"

Russell struggled to get out of the tentacles grip, but the more he squirmed, the tighter the hold was. He glanced over only to see rows of razor sharp teeth in the middle of a blob of flesh and tentacles. His eye widened and thought this was the end for him. Although, the Kraken had planned to toy with him by flinging him around like a rag doll in and out of the water, throwing him into the air and catching him a couple of times. When he was above water, he could hear the pirates laugh with joy and Umi screaming in fear through the ringing before he was taken down again.

By the time the beast was finished, Russell felt half dead because of the ordeal, and he had almost thought of falling unconscious like his mind commanded. He then remembered his pocket knife, and hoped it would more than likely be enough to release him so he could take his daughter to safety. He clutched onto his pocket knife tightly, watching himself get closer and closer to the beast's mouth. With a hopeful swing, he struck the tentacle that was holding him deeply, causing the creature to flinch and roar at him in response, releasing the former pirate and allowing him to swim to the surface. Once he reached the boat, the bluenette didn't even try to climb inside. He grabbed onto the edge and began to paddle as fast as he could to make sure he and Umi were safely on the beach.

Once they hit the sand, Russell collapsed onto his hands and knees and coughed roughly, eventually vomiting blood and seawater in the process. He hugged his torso with a moan before lifting up his shirt to see dark bruises around his abdomen, some bruises slightly bleeding from the grip of the tentacles. He never got a chance to look for very long before Umi ran up and hugged him with sobs. Russell winced before wrapping arms around her and lifting her from the ground. "It's okay, I'm here." He soothed with a closed eye before standing up. He glanced over at the shoreline and lifted an eyebrow at the bottle that drifted up towards the sand. He stepped over towards it, wincing as he picked it up and opened it carefully. His eyes widened when he saw a note inside and knew it was from Alexander and the crew: _"You have one hour."_ Russell lifted an eyebrow at the message before assuming he had an hour to warn the town of the raid. He stuffed the note in his pocket and turned his back on the ocean and hurried back into town as Umi glanced back at the pirate ship with a fear-filled gaze. "Mama, what's gonna happen to us?"

"Nothing, sweetie." Russell set her on the ground and bent down to face her at eye level. "Because you, me, Daddy, and everyone else will be fine."

"Really?" Russell nodded and pulled her close before speeding up his pace. "Come on. We need to warn Daddy about the pirates."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell stormed inside the house and slammed the door behind him as he rushed up the stairs to the bedroom, causing Lumpy to peek his head out into the hall to see what was going on. Once he saw the two drenched bluenettes, his eyes widened in confusion and wanted to know exactly what happened. "Russell." The former pirate ignored him and set Umi on the ground and kneeling down to her eye level. "Listen, I want you to dry yourself off and changed clothes so you don't get sick, okay?" Umi nodded before heading towards the bathroom, and Russell slammed the bedroom door behind him quickly.

Lumpy threw open the door to see his husband struggling to remove his shirt before tossing it to the floor. "Russell, will you please tell me what's going on." He demanded while closing the door behind him. His eyes widened at the trail of fading bruises across Russell's torso as he kicked off his pants and boxers, reaching for the closet until Lumpy grabbed him. The two stood in silence for a moment before Lumpy cupped his cheek gently. "Calm down and talk, okay?" Russell nodded silently, and Lumpy's eyes widened when he saw tears run down his face. "Y-You were right about him," He choked out a response before covering his face with his hands. "Alexander found out about us, and he found out who Umi really was. He's been watching us, Lumpy; he's been watching all of us," He erupted into sobs, and Lumpy pulled him close to comfort him. "He wanted to make sure I was dead permanently, so that's why he came back. He wants to take over Happy Tree Town and use it for a base, and he said he would kill anyone who opposed them-" He was cut off by coughing up blood into his hand and shivering. "They almost fed Umi to the Kracken, and he's gonna attack the town in an hour," Russell pulled away with wide eyes and darted away. "I need to warn them."

"Hey, hey slow down," Lumpy pulled on his arm and gave him a tight hug. "I can tell everyone what's going on. Just take it easy."

"Lumpy, I can't just-" He was cut off when Lumpy pulled him forward for a fierce kiss, running fingers through his hair and keeping him close. When they separated, Lumpy kept a hand on his cheek lovingly and gave him a soft gaze. "Get yourself warmed up, and I'll warn the others." As stubborn and reluctant Russell was, he couldn't deny that he was a cold, shivering mess from the swim in the ocean. He nodded silently before heading towards the bathroom.

After 20 minutes, Lumpy had managed to brief whoever he had in his contacts about the situation and told them to hide in case pirates might invade their home. Umi, now dressed in warm clothes, held onto him tightly and followed him wherever he went. The older bluenette heard footsteps and turned to the stairs to see Russell dressed in a red and white stripped shirt, blue jeans, knee-length brown boots with low heels, a long black coat, and his infamous jolly roger hat. Lumpy glanced at his waist to see his sword tucked in its sheath carefully, and he lowered his head in response. _His old pirate attire. I thought he got rid of it. Why's he wearing it?_ He turned to the toddler and gave her a look, signaling that he wanted to talk to the bluenette alone. Umi nodded and quietly made her way up the stairs.

Lumpy pulled Russell into a tight hug, and Russell didn't hesitate to return it. The older bluenette nuzzled his neck with closed eyes and kissed his cheek. "You don't have to do this, you know?"

"If I don't, who will?" Russell pulled back and cupped both of his cheeks gently and pulled his face close. "They might do something to you and Umi, and I don't want that to happen." Lumpy leaned in and softly took his lips with his own, causing Russell's hands to trail down and grab his shirt. The older bluenette deepened the kiss and stroked his sides gently as Russell grabbed a handful of hair before they both pulled away. "You know what to do, right?" His husband nodded in response with a nuzzle. "Lock the doors, turn off the lights, close the curtains, and keep quiet."

"Why am I so lucky to have you?" Russell replied with a smile before kissing his cheek with a nuzzle. "Just wanted to make sure everything is under control."

"But, what about you?" Russell lowered his head and held the other's arms, and Lumpy's heart filled with concern. "You know I have to do this."

"I know," Lumpy sighed and pecked his nose. "Just stay safe." Russell nodded and gave his husband a final kiss before stepping out of the front door and out of sight.

* * *

Shifty loaded the gun in his hand before handing it to his twin, who reluctantly took it with a concerned gaze. Shifty then began to close the blinds and turn off all of the lights before leading his brother and sons upstairs into a bathroom, closing the door behind them in a hurry. "Daddy, what's gonna happen to us?" Jack asked with a frightened tone as he and his older half were placed in the bathtub.

"Nothing, because we're gonna be okay," The older thief replied softly before heading for the door once again. "Stay with them until I get back."

"But Shif-"

"Please, brother. We won't stand a chance, especially when we have so much more on the line," He cupped the younger's cheek with a worried glance as he took a quick peek at the two behind the shower curtain. "We're thieves, not fighters. Let's leave this to the others." After a pause, Lifty nodded and pecked his brother's lips before the elder disappeared to grab whatever supplies they needed to survive the attack.

Once Shifty returned, he locked the bathroom door behind him and gave the toddlers a few pillows and some blankets in case they had no choice but to spend the night in the bathroom. The twins nodded in a sign of thanks as they began to get settled in as the older thief stayed close to the door in case there was a shooting that needed to be done.

* * *

Sniffles removed a tile from the floor to reveal a hidden trap door underneath. He threw it open before turning to his boyfriend and children. "Alright, we may still have time, but I'd rather we hide now to be cautious."

"Daddy, what are we hiding from?" Candy pipped up from behind her siblings as Sniffles got to his feet. "We're hiding from pirates so they won't hurt us."

"And we'll be safe in there?" Sammy asked while pointing to the secret passage, and Sniffles nodded in response before ushering his son towards it. Danny gave a concerned glance to both of his parents before slowly climbing down the latter. Once he was far down enough, Nutty ushered his daughters to follow him, although Candy was reluctant to leave her mother's side. "It's okay. I'll be right behind you." After a moment, the youngest triplet followed her sister down the latter, and once she was far enough, Nutty began to climb down after before glancing up at the bluenette. "Are you getting whatever we need left?" Sniffles nodded and pecked his lips sweetly. "Yeah. It won't take me long." The greenette nodded before descending into the bunker with his children.

Sniffles carried a bag of extra supplies over his shoulder as he stepped down the latter, closing the trap door along the way before reaching the bunker and keeping a gun close to him. He stepped over towards the nearby bed and pulled Nutty close to him as the triplets kept far away from the door. The five of them huddled together in hopes they would never be found by the pirates.

* * *

Flippy threw curtains closed with a glare before storming towards the kitchen and turning off all of the lights as Flaky and Ruby stayed close towards the stairs in silence. Ruby held onto her mother's leg in fear as she shrouded away, afraid of the look her father had on his face as Flaky decided to stay out of his way. Once all of the lights were turned off, Flippy pulled his family towards a nearby closet and nearly threw it open. He took a handgun and a knife and gave it to the red-head before closing the door. "Flippy-"

"You know why you have that." The veteran pulled the two of them close, giving them both a peck on the cheek before hearing a knock on the door. The three paused before Flaky ushered himself and his daughter out of sight as Flippy headed for the front door quietly. He looked through the peep hole and breathed out a sigh of relief before turning to the others. "It's okay, just Fliqpy." The greenette opened the door to allow his doppelganger inside and Fliqpy tossed another gun at him. "You might need it. Who knows how many pirates we'll be up against."

"I appreciate it," Flippy took the gun from him and nodded before glancing at the two red-heads with a loving gaze. Ruby stepped forward to hug her father and uncle tightly, who didn't hesitate to return it, and Flaky followed suit, first hugging Fliqpy before stepping towards his husband and cupping his cheeks. The two pulled each other into a deep kiss and stayed in that position until Fliqpy coughed to get their attention. The couple pulled away, and Flaky's hands rested on the greenette's shoulders as Flippy grabbed his chin. "Stay safe." He muttered softly.

"You too." They gave each other a final kiss before the two greenettes exited the house and locked the door behind them. Flaky lowered his head with a concerned gaze as Ruby nuzzled his leg. He grabbed his daughter by the hand and lead her towards the living room and pulled out his phone. "We'll be okay," He whispered as she positioned herself in his lap. "Daddy's gonna protect us don't worry." Ruby said nothing but snuggle up to her mother with closed eyes. The red-head looked over at the ring on his finger and fear filled his chest once again. "Please be safe, Flippy."

* * *

Handy cocked his gun as he lead Petunia and Lilac to the basement, making sure there wasn't a ruckus behind them. He threw open the door and ushered them inside, slamming the door behind them and locking it. "Handy, are you sure the pirates will attack?" Petunia asked with concern as she pulled the toddler closer to her. Lilac hid behind his mother with a frightened gaze as his father barricaded the door. "Lumpy wouldn't lie to me," He responded with a stern gaze. "He wouldn't lie about something as serious as this. Besides, you know how these pirates are. Now that Russell isn't leading them, they're different from who they were when we last saw them."

"Yeah, but. ." The bluenette trailed off with a lowered head as Lilac held onto her arm tightly with a whimper Handy stepped closer to them and lifted her chin so she was facing him. A moment later, he pulled the other into a gentle kiss as his other hand cupped her cheek. The two were still for a moment before Petunia pulled back, feeling more relaxed than before, although she still had a bit of concern hiding in her gaze. She soon nodded and glanced down at the toddler holding onto her leg tightly. Lilac glanced up at his parents with frightened eyes and turned towards the small window to see the sun slowly begin to set. "Papa, Mama, what's gonna happen to us?"

"Nothing. We're going to stay here and be safe," Handy picked him up and held the violette-haired toddler in his arms. "Mama and Papa will make sure to protect you especially."

"Really?" Both parents nodded before heading to a place to sit. Petunia was hesitate due to the dust in the area, but sat next to her husband and son. Lilac sat in her lap and leaned against the bluenette with closed eyes. Petunia and Handy gave each other concerned glances and squeezed each other's hands in comfort.

As the rest of the town prepared for the attack, Russell sat on top of a hill where he could spot the town below him and see the ship resting on the water. He placed a hand over his eye patch and lowered his head, thinking back to the night of the mutiny. He began to believe Alexander was fooling him into making him believe he was on Russell's side and reciprocated his feelings before the mutiny took place. The feeling of betrayal lingered in his chest as a glare grew on his face before lifting his head back to the ship once again. Russell wanted to avoid conflict, but because his old crew were threatening his family and friends, they didn't give him much of a choice; the thought of Umi or Lumpy dying at the hands of Alexander was something he didn't want to imagine. If anything, he believed it would immediately set off his hysteria.

Once the sun disappeared, Russell stood up from his spot, clutching the sheathed sword in his right hand and waited for the pirates to arrive on land. This time, he would be able to finish what they started and put his past behind him for good.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media**

Russell sank his sword through a crewmate's chest and allowed him to fall backwards before slicing another's face before backing away. He heard gunshots and jerked around to see both Flippy and Fliqpy struggling to take down other pirates. Eventually, the three were back to back as various pirates surrounded them with menacing gazes. "What are you guys doing?" Russell asked with a glare. "This is my fight."

"No way, pirate bitch," Fliqpy responded with a smirk. "I can't sit by while you have all of the fun."

"We're veterans, Russell. We can't just hide and wait for it to be all over," Flippy reloaded his gun with a glare never leaving his face. "Besides, I have a family to protect, and I know you do too."

"But-"

"You're not changing our minds, ya know," Fliqpy cut him off with a scoff before aiming his gun. "You might as well let us do what we want." Russell couldn't help but sigh with a lowered head before raising his sword once again. "Fine, but don't blame me if you end up dead."

"We can come back anyway." A moment later, the three separated and began the fight once again. Russell soon began to glance around in hopes of finding Alexander and ending this. However, the pirate captain was nowhere to be found, and he cursed under his breath as a response. He jabbed his sword into another pirate before dashing away, hoping for more to follow him instead of raiding various residences for their own personal gain. However, his eyes widened when he saw the townspeople running in the streets as the pirates invaded their homes. _Where are you, Alexander?_ He thought desperately as he sprinted towards the abandoned side of town and hearing the various shouts of his former crew follow him.

* * *

Lumpy froze when he heard shouts near the house, and he quickly pulled Umi towards the stairs to make sure she stays hidden. He pulled a small knife out of his back pocket as he motioned for the girl to hide in her room, and Umi didn't hesitate to do what he said. Lumpy stayed out of sight in the staircase and eyed the front door cautiously, and it wasn't long before the shouts became closer. The front door was kicked off of its hinges, and a group of six pirates entered the home. Lumpy shrouded further into his hiding spot as he saw the swords and guns glisten in the moonlight, and he couldn't help but notice that the pirates looked malicious but also confused. "Coulda swore he was in 'ere." One pirate said while he glanced around and took a step forward. Lumpy lifted an eyebrow before releasing a silent sigh. _They're looking for Russell. That's not surprising,_ He thought to himself. _If anything, if they find us, they could force Russell to surrender while using us as hostages._

He watched the pirates further step into the home, and he looked up to see Umi peeking from the top of the stairs, and his eyes widened. He wanted to signal to her to go back into her room, but he knew that if he moved, he would be caught. He sent her a silent glare, although it didn't look as though she caught on.

Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed him by the neck and pulled him out of his hiding spot and threw him to the floor. Lumpy winced as he came face to face with the pirate that grabbed him. "What a coincidence that yur here, mate," He sneered. "Care to tell us where yur captain boyfriend is or are we gonna have to choke it out of ya?" A tighter grip caused Lumpy to choke out in pain, and he stabbed the pirate in the wrist with his knife out of reflex, keeping the glare on his face. The pirate holding him motioned for the others to head upstairs to find the girl as the grip tightened. "L-Like hell I know where he is," Lumpy choked out with a cough. "W-What are you gonna do? H-Hold us hostage until he surrenders?"

"We're leaving that to our cap'n," The pirate pulled the knife out of his wrist and Lumpy felt himself losing consciousness. "Although, I think he has other plans, mate."

The last sound Lumpy heard were the frightened screams of his daughter as she vanished from sight.

* * *

Shifty's head jerked up as he heard commotion from downstairs, and held his gun closer to his person. He saw his brother holding onto a knife and their sons peeking from behind the shower curtain. The older thief lowered his head as he thought of what to do. It wouldn't be long before the pirates found them and slaughter them. Shifty knew that it he attacked them, it would only draw more pirates to the home, but the thought of his brother and children being killed left a bad taste in his mouth. In the back of his mind he was thinking that the commotion outside would be enough to distract other pirates from what was going on inside the house. He heard the pirates draw closer and realized he didn't have much time to think.

A sharp bang outside the door cause Shifty to press his back against it to make sure the intruders aren't allowed inside. He glanced over at his family desperately, signaling them to stay hidden as best as they could. He winced in pain as he felt bullets shoot through the door and into his back, and one grazed against his ear and almost hit his brother. Lifty squeaked in a frightened tone as he scooted closer towards the wall, feeling the scar on his torso ache because of the pain inflicted on his brother. It had only gotten worse when a sword plunged itself into Shifty's right shoulder, causing him to cry out and cough up blood but keep his place against the door. The brothers couldn't exactly hear what the pirates on the other side were saying due to the muffled sound, but they knew it had something to do with killing whoever was blocking the door.

The next few moments comprised of multiple stab wounds to Shifty's abdomen as though the pirates on the other side were trying to find his heart. Despite his vision going blurry due to the lack of consciousness, Shifty somehow found the strength to keep the door closed. In the corner of his eye, he saw the toddler twins press themselves against the blankets and pillows they had as though to keep themselves hidden. He also noticed that Lifty hugging himself with his eyes clenched tight and brows furrowed, and Shifty knew it wasn't because of fear. He cried out in pain and glanced down to see a sword through his chest and he glanced back at his teary-eyed brother before his vision faded to black.

Lifty could only stare as his twin's body slumped to the floor and watch the pirates get through the door with his corpse in the way. Apparently Shifty had locked them in, which gave Lifty more time to think of what he could do. He didn't have long before the intruders found their way inside, so he had to think quick. Lifty reached for the gun that was in his brother's hands and held it close to him, ready to pull the trigger. He glanced back over at the twins who had put up a makeshift fort in the bathtub in hopes of it protecting them. Lifty held in a breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down so he wouldn't act erratically.

Once the door burst open, his first instinct was to shoot whoever had entered, and he was luckily that the shot had instantly killed the pirate. However, once a bullet had grazed his ear, he lost all thought and continued to shoot. At that point, he didn't care if the bullets were killing his enemies; he was focused on making sure to protect the children he worked so hard to bring into the world. He was lucky they never had a chance to spot the twins in the first place. When the first gun was out of bullets, Lifty reached for the other and continued to fire, even if there were multiple bullets in a single pirate. At one point, he kicked a pirate off of him to keep the distance, and he ignored the pain his scar gave him as he maneuvered to make sure none of them reached the twins, even if it meant selfishly using his brother's corpse as a shield.

Lifty cursed to himself when he had ran out of bullets, but his rapid gunfire had caused there to be two pirates left. He threw the gun aside and grabbed his knife, instantly charging towards the two pirates. However, he was shoved to the side and a blade almost made contact with his face. The thief quickly got to his feet to avoid another attack and grabbed the pirate's arm to possibly immobilize him while also dodging the other arm and kicking the other pirate in the face, sending him tumbling towards the wall, his arm slamming on top of the make-shift fort. He glanced over towards it before a grin made itself known on his face. "Oi mate, I think I have an idea," Lifty was too busy worrying about the pirate he held to notice until he heard a squeal from the bathtub. His eyes widened at the sight of Jack being shoved against the wall and Zack held at gunpoint. "Let's make ourselves a deal, greeny. Ya let my comrade go and I won't kill the lads. The only one to die here would be you." Lifty knew for a fact that the pirate was lying, knowing all three of them would be killed whether or not he let go.

His eyes darted around the room to see if there was anything he could use to his advantage and and saw a small knife in the corner. He tried to think as fast as he could before the pirates got impatient. He closed his eyes tightly and-hoping this could work-brought his legs up and wrapped them around the neck of the pirate he was holding, harshly bringing him to the floor with a loud thud. Lifty quickly got himself upright from the floor and leaped towards the knife and successfully grabbing it. While the pirates were distracted, the twin toddlers dove back into their fort for protection. Lifty was glad that his flexibility came in handy from his thief days, although he wasn't sure it would be enough to keep him alive; he didn't have any fighting experience because he was used to running to avoid fights. Only this time, he had nowhere to run, and he didn't have a choice if he was able.

The thief was so deep in thought, he almost didn't notice the pirates lunging in for the kill. Lifty ducked and darted out of the way, hoping to lead them out of the bathroom and away from his children. Luckily, they both chased him down the hall and it caused him to worry less and focus more on how he could defeat them. He was pulled back by the hood and thrown to the ground. His eyes widened as he moved out of the way of a killing blow to the head and getting back on his feet. "When will you quit?" He growled while spitting blood on the ground with a glare.

"We'll quit when you give up, mate."

"You wish." At his response, the pirates charged forward, and Lifty promptly lifted one of his legs to kick one of them in the face, however, it didn't stop the other from stabbing him in the back in the process. Lifty cried out as his arm was grabbed to face the two again and felt a fist collide with his stomach, specifically punching his scar and potentially bruising it. The green-haired twin coughed up blood and hunched over in pain as his arms wrapped around himself and the pirates hovered over him with sneers. "I guess it's time to end this, huh lad." In the corner of his eye, Lifty saw both pirates raise their swords and decided to ignore the pain-filled tears running down his face and think of a last minute plan.

A cry was released when Lifty lodged the knife he had in a pirate's wrist, stopping him from slicing off the thief's head as the other sword stuck itself in his left shoulder. Blood ran down his arm and Lifty used his free hand to attempt to grab the sword currently hanging from the incapacitated pirate. "Not so fast." The pirate's free hand reached forward and held a tight grip on the thief's neck. The greenette gagged somewhat, but managed to slip the hilt through his fingers. The pirate who had his sword lodged into Lifty's shoulder saw what he was doing and plunged his sword in deeper. Lifty held his grip on the sword and swung hard. A head toppled to the floor and the sword in Lifty's shoulder slipped out and fell to the ground. He looked to see the decapitated pirate fall backwards and the hand on his neck tightened. Lifty's vision started to blur and he wasn't sure if he would be able to stay conscious with the pain enveloping his body. He wasn't able to stand with this pirate towering above him and he knew it wasn't good to stay kneeled to the ground like this. Tightening his grip on the sword and hoping he landed a hit, Lifty ran the sword through the remaining pirate's neck, causing blood to spew from his mouth and an even tighter grip on the thief. Lifty wondered if there would be bruises if he let go, but decided not to worry about it.

The two glared at each other to see who would fall first, doing whatever they could to kill the other. Lifty felt nails being dug into his skin and he twisted the sword to inflict more damage, which caused more blood to be spat on him. He slowly began to slide the sword across the pirate's throat in hopes of ending this, and luckily, it seemed to be working. With whatever strength he had left, he lopped off the pirate's head in one slice, causing the hand around his throat to release him. Lifty gasped for air and coughed up some more blood before slowly getting back on his feet. Unfortunately, he was in worse shape than he had originally thought and had to lean on the wall for support: with the bruises around his neck, a bleeding ear, and the gash on his left shoulder that refused to heal -not including the never-ending pain from his scarred torso- Lifty didn't believe he would make it back to the twins to tell them everything was alright.

He collapsed on his knees and found it difficult to breathe and his head fell to the side. He released a sigh and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, brother," He muttered, noticing his vision blur and feeling the strength leave his body. "But I managed to protect them, so I think that's what it all comes down to," He saw the corpses that littered the hall and he released a blood-filled chuckle. "I wish I made less of a mess, though." Lifty wasn't sure if there would be more pirates, but it had gotten quiet outside, so he began to think the attack was almost over. He smiled and allowed himself to fall to the floor with arms wrapped around himself. "I guess my job here is done," He said peacefully as he closed his eyes. "Wish I could have stayed alive though." The thief felt himself go limp and the life soon disappeared from his eyes.


End file.
